ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
tell me about the eggs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
