Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
