I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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