My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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