Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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