But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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