dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
