You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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