I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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