I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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