WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
