he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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