you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
