do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
