Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We need to rekindle our bromance
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
