mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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