can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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