I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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