i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
