Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
