well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize