I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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