took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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