Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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