We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
