we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
