If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
