I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
