What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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