My balls are so social today.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
