i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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