I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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