I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
