My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
