You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
