Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize