Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
