Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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