I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
