Is it normal to miss your booty call?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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