Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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