i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
