He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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