Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
