dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I bet he comes in French.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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