just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
