So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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