And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
