I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
