We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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