I seem to have left my pride at pride
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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