At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
