dude i'm inner monologue high
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
