In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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