Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday