You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand