I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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