Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize