The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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