I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
two words: eviction party
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
