k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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