his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There r osticjed everywhere
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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