Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They took my balls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
