So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
