Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
