Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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