No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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