Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
