I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
